“Reactions for safety in a battle with trust can be a lonely victory”
I read a similar quote to this today while doing some research about betrayal and it made me think about relationships that are in the process of rebuilding trust.
Trust is required in every single relationship to make it work, right?
When were in crisis, we go into safety mode; your brain subconsciously says “protect yourself at all costs”. This can come out in many ways; screaming, leaving for good, intense anger, bitter insecure reactions, and so many more ways.
People don’t want to be hurt and betrayed again.
In those moments, it can feel good to exert that control needed to soothe yourself and that fear response. But what happens when this no longer works? What happens when this perpetually does more damage in relationships? The goal is to react mindfully when you have an intense feeling of mistrust.
What is going on for you right now? What do you need?
And lastly, trusting again comes with the ability to take risks. Small, calculated risks as a way to have your partner earn back that trust. And it requires consistency and determination to be trustworthy on the other end.
If your only goal within your relationship is safety without addressing the other parts of the hard work, it can be a lonely victory.