“Before finding the right person, you need to BE the right person.” Dating can be hard; especially in today’s age where you can connect w dozens of people at the tip of your fingers. I often hear people talk about dating as a struggle and it’s always been a clinical interest of mine. Firstly, I think dating requires a level of serious vulnerability that a lot of people struggle to embrace. In order truly be authentic and date, you have to open yourself up to someone else with the possibility of rejection (eek, really?) and then that leaves you with the burning question: who are they going to get to know when they see the real, authentic, you?
This is where being the right person is critical to attracting the right person.
Write out a list of values/qualities you want in another person.
It doesn’t matter what it is (physical attributes are not what we’re talking about here, I’m talking about emotional qualities). For example, say you want someone who’s honest and dependable.
Ask yourself these questions: what behaviors demonstrates my honesty and dependability to my family, in friendships, past relationships, + current relationships? Am I able to look at myself and be honest about who I am and why I do the things i do? Would I want to be with someone like me?
Are you living out the values that you want your partner to possess? Are your dating behaviors aligned with what you want from a future partner? What do you want in your next relationship?
Finding someone can happen at any time, but doing the inner work for when they come is the most critical thing you can do for yourself if your goal is to find a long term relationship.